Friday, August 22, 2008

Rejected Facebook status updates of a new mom

- 4 am AB's Baby slept 5 straight hours! Right on.
- 8 am AB is happy to have lost 3 pounds. Only 17 to go!
- 9 am AB, eying a sticky bun, wonders if how much her boobs weigh and if maybe she could get away with losing less than 17 pounds.
- 10 am AB is wondering if other parents find it odd to touch their children's genitals. Come on, has no one else felt this way?
- 11 am AB washed her hair two days in a row!
- Noon AB ate lunch standing up and walking around her house with Baby in a carrier, hoping the movement would keep him calm. Perhaps this is the secret to post-partum weight loss.
- 1 pm AB's Baby is on his third outfit of the day, owing to diaper malfunction compounded by user error.
- 2 pm AB tried and failed to run some errands, as Baby was more interested in screaming than in shopping.
- 3 pm: AB is trying to get Baby to nap.
- 4 pm: AB is in hour two of Project Sleeping Baby.
- 5 pm: AB is (sigh) still at it.
- 6 pm: AB has given up on the napping thing and wonders why motherhood doesn't come with its own personal bartender. Mojito, please.
- 8 pm AB remembers when she didn't wolf down every meal, hoping to finish eating before Baby cries.
- 9 pm AB, ever the partier, is heading to bed.


Erin said...

I love it! Hope you get some sleep tonight.

bleu said...

You are doing awesome, washing hair two days in a row is seriously terrific!!!

It gets easier, I promise!