Monday, February 18, 2008


If you ever want to see how differently human bodies carry extra weight, watch an episode of The Biggest Loser. The incredibly brave contestants bare almost all to get weighed each week, and what you'll see as they disrobe is how differently a few dozen or hundred extra pounds sits on different people.

The secret of weight loss, of course, is that if you have carried extra pounds for a long time, your skin doesn't just magically turn back into the smooth 22-year-old body you were hoping for. Skin remembers. Combine its extended stay in an extended format with whatever extra pounds you didn't lose, and your slimmer figure will be distinctly, well, lumpy.

There are two reasons I haven't put a baby bump photo on this site. First, I'm way too self-conscious to show that, because second, my baby bump is distinctly unsatisfying. Almost 22 weeks into this pregnancy, I don't really look visibly pregnant unless I'm wearing precisely the right outfit. Instead, I just look fat(ter).

You see, I naturally have two bellies -- a bit of belly above my waist (which, it seems, is where the majority of the 12 lbs I've gained so far have taken up residence) and a bit below. Now both areas are noticeably bigger than they were pre-pregnancy, but I'd be much happier if I only had the one below my waist -- the baby bump I'm supposed to have. Instead, I'm watching my usually defined waist gradually disappear, and eventually my two bellies (one fat, one baby) will meet. And then, I'm sure, I'll look quite pregnant.

Last week, a co-worker who was late to the big news figured it out and tried to touch my belly, I nearly bit her head off. I'm self-conscious about not having the right baby bump. And why wouldn't I be? Everyone else is -- just pick up a celebrity magazine and look for its "Bump Watch" section. Half the time the photos they print aren't even of people who are pregnant; they just had the nerve to breathe when the photo was taken. Earth to photo editors: that's not an embryo; it's a pelvis!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

We're still here

Apologies for not posting in a while; I've been traveling a bit and now have a nasty cold. (What's more fun that having a cold? Having a cold with round ligament pain and no drugs!)

The good news is that the munchkin is still around and now is kicking away -- I've been feeling it move for weeks, but yesterday my partner felt it for the first time. We had our 20-week fetal survey ultrasound on Friday, and everything looks good -- the doctor was happy with how the baby's heart, brain, spine, kidneys, bladder, stomach, and limbs looked. The kid is 9 inches long and weighs about 11 ounces.

I don't really look pregnant -- just fat(ter). (Even though I've gained 12 pounds and am wearing only maternity pants and mostly tops these days.) It's a little disappointing not to be showing at nearly 21 weeks, but I'll take what I can get. I'm excited about starting to show.

Next tasks:
- get room ready
- figure out what to register for (egads)
- hire a doula
- figure out daycare
- and a lot more than my virus-addled brain can't compute right now.