Thursday, January 17, 2008

The sigh of relief heard 'round the world

That was me this morning, falling to my dining room floor in relief at the news that the amnio were normal.

I've been telling people at work today. After two years of trying, and two false starts, this is a day I never thought I'd see. And yet, here it is.


Monday, January 14, 2008

The waiting game

Is there any part of this process that doesn't involve long, expectant (ha) periods of time?

You wait to get your period to start birth control pills, you wait to start the injections, wait for daily phone calls announcing your estradiol numbers, wait for the call to do the trigger shot. Wait for the fertilization report, wait to pee on a stick, wait for your beta results.

But that's not all! Then there's the waiting for the seven-week viability check, waiting for the (cancelled) CVS, waiting for the end of the first trimester, waiting 45 minutes in a ridiculously small and windowless waiting room to see your OB, waiting to have the amniocentesis (at 16 weeks), and then, now, waiting for the results. And, provided all is well, of course then you wait to give birth and then, once the kid has finally arrived, wait for some kind of child-related disaster.

So far, everything with me is fine. Nausea is gone, headaches have subsided, lower back pain isn't as bad; I feel good. And our baby is still in there, it still has a heartbeat, it is measuring on-target. I may have felt it move. It has arms and legs, a bladder, a head, a spine, the whole megilla. The ultrasonographer at the amnio said all of the structures look good, and she listed several symptoms of Down Syndrome that she did not see in our baby. Then the perinatologist came along and, in what I presume was his standard, lawsuit-preventing answer to anxious gravids, said, well, 50 percent of Down Syndrome kids don't show any symptoms on an ultrasound.

Uh, fantastic.

So now we wait. Results take either 10 to 14 days or 7 to 10 days, depending on who you listen to. Today is day 5. As usual, I cannot wait. In some ways, this is the moment I've been waiting for the most, because while I've told several friends that I'm pregnant, almost no one in my close-knit office has any idea why I'm expanding. I've only told my immediate family. And I have waited for the moment when I actually get to tell people for so long. Here's hoping it actually happens.