Monday, April 23, 2007

Unkind universe

I wish I had good news to post, but I do not. Today's ultrasound showed almost exactly the same thing that my 7-week ultrasound did last time.

The main difference: this pregnancy started off as identical twins (thus explaining the high HCG numbers), but one twin is very small and has no heartbeat. Unfortunately, the surviving twin is one week too small (measuring 6w1d, as opposed to 7w1d) and has a slow heartbeat (115 -- they'd like to see it at 140). My doctor gave me a 95 percent chance of miscarrying. I am scheduled to go back in a week to see if anything's improved, but this embryo basically grew 2 days worth in 8 days based on the last ultrasound.

If I end up having a D&C, they'll run some tests on the tissue to see if they can figure out what went wrong. (I wasn't able to do that last time, since I passed the bulk of the pregnancy before the D&C.)

I am in complete shock. I was so sure this one was going to work -- I feel more pregnant than last time, and I just felt the universe couldn't do this to me twice. Apparently, I was wrong. I simply cannot believe this is happening again.


Kim said...

I know sorry just doesn't cut it...but I'm truely so sorry. You're in my prayers.

vee said...

I'm so sorry to read this. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Again. It's just not fair in any way. I'm truly sorry. You are in my thoughts.

amyjay said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time. I wish for you healing...mind, body, and soul.