Chances

I am obsessed with the numbers. My doctor gave me a 25 to 30 percent chance of getting pregnant if I transfer one embryo, and a 40 percent chance of getting pregnant if I transfer two. In my dream last night, I asked her what she thought my chance of another miscarriage was. She said, since you've had two, I'd give it a 40 percent chance. 40 percent. In the dream, I sat down in the middle of the street and curled up into a ball.

After 10 days on Lupron, I start the "stims" -- the FSH drugs that should make my ovaries feel like baseballs -- tonight.