Oy, the temptation, part 2

Six and a half months ago, another two week wait was ending. On the Monday morning my period was due to arrive, I woke up at 2 am needing to pee. I had been on edge all weekend, cranky as hell. In the middle of the night, as I looked at the clock, I thought: am I ready to take a test? Because, I said to myself, if it is negative, that means you are going to do IVF. Are you ready for that information?

I was ready to end the suspense, so did my duty. And saw two pink lines.

Today I'm in the same situation. My blood test isn't until Friday, which, I learned today, is quite a bit later than it would be at some other clinics (one popular one in town has patients get their blood tests two weeks after the retrieval; mine does it two weeks after the transfer, which adds three entire days).

At this point, a test should be pretty accurate. Last week I took one to ensure the trigger shot was out of my system. A positive last week wouldn't have meant a positive; it might have meant the trigger was still hanging around. A negative meant that a future positive would be meaningful. It was negative, so a test now would be the real deal.

Not knowing is driving me nuts. Last night I woke up, needing to pee, and considered taking a test. But I didn't have the nerve. And now I'm pondering taking one tomorrow. The question is, what's weighing on me more? My desire to know, regardless of the answer, or my desire to not have my hopes for my first IVF cycle be quashed?

I am an information junkie. I am overly cerebral and logical and analytical. I am so Type A. So it's pretty uncharacteristic that I would fear information, but that's kind of what it is: I'm nervous about it, but I want to do it. If someone could do the test for me, without me knowing, and only tell me if it was positive, I'd be in heaven.

Wednesday is my birthday, and I don't want to get a negative test then. So either I take a test tomorrow morning, or I wait until Thursday. What would you do?

7 Reasons Why/Not

(Scroll down because Blogger is being silly)

Reasons why	/Not
Breasts are tender	but not necessarily any more tender than any other day 25 of my cycle.
Temperature was really high today	as it has been many other times when I was not pregnant.
I was pretty tired over the weekend.	So?
I've felt sick to my stomach the past couple of days	and also have a little sore throat, which isn't typically a pregnancy symptom. Plus, if morning sickness is kicking in already, I'm going to be the first woman on record to naturally conceive septuplets.
Lots of weird dreams	which means I've been getting lots of good REM sleep.
Cranky!	Again, so?
Cramps	In a theoretical universe where you're trying to keep things in your uterus, motions to expel are not so good.